Ben, Richardson & Co.
The House wishes to address some of the questions that have arisen since the takeover of Ben, Richardson & Co. by J.S. Dacey & Co. in the weekend following the March Game.
How did this come about? Ben, Richardson is a highly respected firm with a long history in the Game. It has been a consistent moneymaker for many years and was the source of such innovations as mini-pretzel-based table snacks, the three-tens-beats-three-nines headbanger, the 7-4 low-beats-a 7-5 low heartbreaker, etc. However, sudden reverses in the turbulent 7/27 market caused a run on Ben, Richardson. The firm’s excuse that it “left its wallet in its other pants” failed to quell the turmoil and placed its future at risk.
When did a takeover become necessary? About 10:00, when Ben, Richardson issued a statement: “Crap. I’ve got 26.” At this point, the eponymous J.S. Dacey communicated directly with Ben, Richardson management to offer support: “Gee, Ben, you should have taken my advice and kept on raising.”
What does this mean for Ben, Richardson? J.S. Dacey has assured Ben, Richardson that it will operate as an independent subsidiary (but watch those passes in Anaconda). Some Ben, Richardson assets will be transferred to J.S. Dacey for the purpose of smooth consolidation. These include a couple of cars, a 401-K and a Big Bertha driver.
How did J.S. Dacey wind up in control of Ben, Richardson for just thirteen dollars? J.S. Dacey invoked one of those obscure rules to which it alone is privy (like when it turns out that the queen of diamonds from the hockey deck is worth 8 ¾ points in 7/27 instead of the ½ point you thought it was). Go figure.
How will this affect the Game? Not at all. The House is committed to providing discontinuous, deep and liquid markets. The next trading session (trading your Zero King refrigerator for some brightly colored chips) will take place at 8 PM, Friday, April 4.
Best,
The House
March 30, 2008 at 12:10 am
I’ll be back on Friday the 4th with pretzels in hand. All my leading indicators predict an uptick in the market which wise investors will take advantage of. As the late John Mitchell once said “Watch what we do, not what we say”.
‘Til then spare us all from Serbian snipers nd garrolous pastors.
Ben
March 29, 2008 at 5:56 pm
I just cashed in all of my poker chips yesterday. They were worth $800 million a year ago, but only $61 million yesterday. So ask me if I’m depressed? No, don’t ask me. Let me just punch you in the face and go off and cry in my beer, I mean in my champagne. I’ll be back on Friday to try and recoup some of my losses. If I don’t succeed, I may have to lower my pledge to the Follen Legacy Society. Anyone for Bridge?
March 29, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Once again, we see the fruits of anti-Irish prejudice. Yet again my company is the butt of villainous anti-Gaelic snobbery. While it is true that we have never had a losing evening at First Fridays, that is no reason for us to be singled out, on a nearly monthly basis, for sniping and snide broadsides by The House. I beg of you, don’t laugh at Him, it only encourages Him.
I’m supposed to be leaving for Dublin next Thursday, but if I can rearrange my schedule, I’ll be at the game. I really can’t afford not to be.